Those of you reading this that know me well, know that I am very rarely at a loss for words. Yet as I sit down to write this post, I am struggling to put words to the thoughts that are in my mind right now.
I just finished an amazing book by Philip Yancey titled What's so Amazing About Grace? I bought this book about 3 years ago when I was struggling with the definition of grace. For some reason, I got the book, but I set it aside to read at a later time. I am not sure what compelled me to pick it up off the shelf. I am so thankful that I did.
As I was reading it I realized the answer to my question. I don't think that I was ready to read this book until now. I feel like another layer was stripped from my eyes and from my heart as I kept reading.
A statement I read that is reflected throughout the book is this, "Grace is Christianity's best gift to the world. . .Sadly to a world desperate for this grace the church sometimes presents one more form of ungrace."
I read the word "church" in this statement and I substitute it with my name. As a believer I am a part of that statement. I want to write more about grace, but I need more time to reflect on what I read and the pray that God will give me the words to express my thoughts.
The piece of this puzzle of grace that has my mind reeling is this: God does not love me anymore than he loves anyone else on this earth. I have a dear friend that has a lot of questions right now about faith. In fact, she has stated that the Bible has little meaning to her in her life. I have been wrestling with God about this for weeks. As I read this book, the thought that kept entering my mind is, God loves her just as much as he loves me. God wants her to love Him back. It is her decision, but despite how she feels right now, He loves her just the same.
I pray that as God continues to open my eyes and my heart. I pray that everyone I encounter will not see me as a person that feels I am superior because of my faith. I pray that I do not react to anyone with ungrace. I pray that I can show them the love that can only come from Him.
I cannot in words explain the feeling of grace that is overwhelming my heart right now. My eyes have been open to the fact that I opened my heart to Jesus Christ, but somehow I stopped there. I did not let Jesus transform my heart so that I would open my heart up to ALL people; friends, enemies, believers, and non-believers.
This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. Romans 3:22-24
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Old Blue Chair
I am really excited today. I finally got my bedroom organized (all the toys that had made there way in, have now found homes in different parts of the house). I am really excited because I made myself a prayer corner. I have read books on prayer and heard speakers on prayer that all talk about how you need to have a prayer room. A place of sanctuary that you can go to and pray, read your Bible and reflect. I have never had a spot like this in my house. After I got my room all put together I realized that I really needed a comfy chair to sit in, if this room was going to be my little sanctuary. And then I thought, "What about the Blue Chair!"
Chad and I got this blue glider rocker as a wedding gift. This chair has never really had a home. It has been moved so many times. It has moved with us on 4 different occasions. It has been in baby's rooms, in living rooms, in the basement. It has been written on, threw up on, jumped on and rocked so hard by the girls that I can't believe it hasn't fallen apart.
What a better chair for me to sit in, to pray. I rocked each of my little ones to sleep in this chair, I spent a lot of hours being still in that chair hoping that my little ones would stay asleep when I stood up to place them in their cribs. Now I can be still in this chair and pray for those same little girls that are growing up way to fast. Just as this chair was a gift for my marriage, I can pray for the gift of marriage and the amazing husband that God placed in my life.
I tell my girls that it doesn't matter where you pray, you can pray anywhere and you can pray for anything. You can pray on your knees, you can pray standing up with your arms raised. God doesn't care. So why is it so important for me to have this Blue Chair in the corner of my room?
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:6
There are many times and places for prayer, but God likes nothing better than us devoting quiet time to read, pray and reflect in His presence. Many times I have stopped in the middle of the chaos in my house to shoot a few arrows to heaven. But with all the noise that is around me I am not taking time to listen. Now I can come into my bedroom, shut the door, sit in my old blue chair and pray.
Chad and I got this blue glider rocker as a wedding gift. This chair has never really had a home. It has been moved so many times. It has moved with us on 4 different occasions. It has been in baby's rooms, in living rooms, in the basement. It has been written on, threw up on, jumped on and rocked so hard by the girls that I can't believe it hasn't fallen apart.
What a better chair for me to sit in, to pray. I rocked each of my little ones to sleep in this chair, I spent a lot of hours being still in that chair hoping that my little ones would stay asleep when I stood up to place them in their cribs. Now I can be still in this chair and pray for those same little girls that are growing up way to fast. Just as this chair was a gift for my marriage, I can pray for the gift of marriage and the amazing husband that God placed in my life.
I tell my girls that it doesn't matter where you pray, you can pray anywhere and you can pray for anything. You can pray on your knees, you can pray standing up with your arms raised. God doesn't care. So why is it so important for me to have this Blue Chair in the corner of my room?
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. Matthew 6:6
There are many times and places for prayer, but God likes nothing better than us devoting quiet time to read, pray and reflect in His presence. Many times I have stopped in the middle of the chaos in my house to shoot a few arrows to heaven. But with all the noise that is around me I am not taking time to listen. Now I can come into my bedroom, shut the door, sit in my old blue chair and pray.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Clothing Dilemma
Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds. Ephesians 4:21-23
Whenever I think about the above scripture I am visualizing clothing. I imagine taking off old, dirty, worn out clothes and putting on something new that makes me look great and feel great. Interesting enough this scripture really hit home with me this morning when I was dealing with my 6 year old.
I have always doubted my fashion sense. I didn't start wearing make-up until I was a senior in high school and still now there are a lot of days that I walk out the door without it on. (Thank you Jesus for clear skin). And I didn't carry a purse until I was a mom. . .so I am learning.
However, I have been blessed with a little 6 year old fashion diva. She makes up her mind about what she is going to wear before she finds out if it is clean. If it is not, the diva in her erupts and everyone wants to hide. She goes in phases, first it was her hair in a ponytail everyday for 6 months, then it was cowgirl boots, then flip flops, then a certain kind of socks and now. . .certain pants. (which were not clean this morning when she was getting ready for school.)
When all of this drama occurs before 8:00 a.m., it just isn't a great way to start the day. I am mad, she is mad. She goes to school with puffy eyes and a sniffly nose. And I spend the rest of my day beating myself up because I didn't handle the situation like I could have or should have.
So today after I got my girls to school and I started to think about how I could have handled things differently. I started thinking about Ephesians 4. It seems that every single day I have to wake up and once again take off my old self and put on my new self. Everyday I have to renew my mind and my attitude. If I don't take the time to ask Jesus to get me through every single day, my day seems to fall apart.
We had a discussion at Bible Study about why we so often hear the lies of the enemy, i.e. I am not good enough, I messed up again, I am a horrible mother. . . And the answer lies in 2 Corinthians 10:5, We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Every thought that runs through our minds must be taken captive and made obedient to Christ. Every lie that runs through our mind needs to compared to the truth of Christ. You are good enough, you are a wonderful mother and you need to forgive yourself. I so easily get distracted and start to believe the lies instead of focusing on the truth. I wish I didn't struggle with this so much, but I do.
In the book Captivating by Stasi Eldredge she says, "You are passionately loved by the God of the Universe. You are passionately hated by His enemy." I keep reminding myself that if I believe these lies, I am letting the enemy win and I am not willing to give him the satisfaction.
So next time you are struggling, take your thoughts captive and lean on the truth of Jesus Christ. Don't give Satan the satisfaction of controlling your thoughts. God is powerful and He has already won.
Whenever I think about the above scripture I am visualizing clothing. I imagine taking off old, dirty, worn out clothes and putting on something new that makes me look great and feel great. Interesting enough this scripture really hit home with me this morning when I was dealing with my 6 year old.
I have always doubted my fashion sense. I didn't start wearing make-up until I was a senior in high school and still now there are a lot of days that I walk out the door without it on. (Thank you Jesus for clear skin). And I didn't carry a purse until I was a mom. . .so I am learning.
However, I have been blessed with a little 6 year old fashion diva. She makes up her mind about what she is going to wear before she finds out if it is clean. If it is not, the diva in her erupts and everyone wants to hide. She goes in phases, first it was her hair in a ponytail everyday for 6 months, then it was cowgirl boots, then flip flops, then a certain kind of socks and now. . .certain pants. (which were not clean this morning when she was getting ready for school.)
When all of this drama occurs before 8:00 a.m., it just isn't a great way to start the day. I am mad, she is mad. She goes to school with puffy eyes and a sniffly nose. And I spend the rest of my day beating myself up because I didn't handle the situation like I could have or should have.
So today after I got my girls to school and I started to think about how I could have handled things differently. I started thinking about Ephesians 4. It seems that every single day I have to wake up and once again take off my old self and put on my new self. Everyday I have to renew my mind and my attitude. If I don't take the time to ask Jesus to get me through every single day, my day seems to fall apart.
We had a discussion at Bible Study about why we so often hear the lies of the enemy, i.e. I am not good enough, I messed up again, I am a horrible mother. . . And the answer lies in 2 Corinthians 10:5, We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Every thought that runs through our minds must be taken captive and made obedient to Christ. Every lie that runs through our mind needs to compared to the truth of Christ. You are good enough, you are a wonderful mother and you need to forgive yourself. I so easily get distracted and start to believe the lies instead of focusing on the truth. I wish I didn't struggle with this so much, but I do.
In the book Captivating by Stasi Eldredge she says, "You are passionately loved by the God of the Universe. You are passionately hated by His enemy." I keep reminding myself that if I believe these lies, I am letting the enemy win and I am not willing to give him the satisfaction.
So next time you are struggling, take your thoughts captive and lean on the truth of Jesus Christ. Don't give Satan the satisfaction of controlling your thoughts. God is powerful and He has already won.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A Good Cry
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:7 (NLT)
Do you ever feel like you need a good cry? In my mind crying doesn't show weakness. In my mind crying is a form of cleansing. Every once in awhile I just need a good cry. In Bible Study today this scripture was brought to my attention. The New Living Translation is so touching to me. God collects my tears in a bottle and records each of my hurts.
This scripture overwhelms me with comfort and love. Reading it almost brings me to tears. It makes me think of times as a teenager when my mom would sit by my side and I would bawl my eyes out. I would cry so hard that I couldn't breathe and she was always there to comfort me. I don't even like to think back on some of my hurts. However, I read this scripture and I know that every tear I have cried over big things and small things, God has bottled up and He feels all of my pain.
I think of some of the movies I love that make me cry every time I watch them. Most of them are always a love story. I love to get lost in their stories. It is fun to forget the realities of my life and live through the characters on the screen. The knight in shining armor that rescues his damsel in distress.
I have been reflecting a lot on my life lately. Something that I have been thinking a lot about is that I have a story, too. When I stop and look at the story of my life it brings me to tears. I feel blessed beyond measure. Not because life has always been easy. Believe me, God has a pretty big bottle for all of my tears.
My tears today are tears of joy. Joy in knowing that Jesus Christ gave His life to save mine. Talk about a love story. . .there is none greater. What is so amazing is that this is not my love story alone. I am not the only one that gets to experience this love story. It is your story, too.
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:10-12
Do you ever feel like you need a good cry? In my mind crying doesn't show weakness. In my mind crying is a form of cleansing. Every once in awhile I just need a good cry. In Bible Study today this scripture was brought to my attention. The New Living Translation is so touching to me. God collects my tears in a bottle and records each of my hurts.
This scripture overwhelms me with comfort and love. Reading it almost brings me to tears. It makes me think of times as a teenager when my mom would sit by my side and I would bawl my eyes out. I would cry so hard that I couldn't breathe and she was always there to comfort me. I don't even like to think back on some of my hurts. However, I read this scripture and I know that every tear I have cried over big things and small things, God has bottled up and He feels all of my pain.
I think of some of the movies I love that make me cry every time I watch them. Most of them are always a love story. I love to get lost in their stories. It is fun to forget the realities of my life and live through the characters on the screen. The knight in shining armor that rescues his damsel in distress.
I have been reflecting a lot on my life lately. Something that I have been thinking a lot about is that I have a story, too. When I stop and look at the story of my life it brings me to tears. I feel blessed beyond measure. Not because life has always been easy. Believe me, God has a pretty big bottle for all of my tears.
My tears today are tears of joy. Joy in knowing that Jesus Christ gave His life to save mine. Talk about a love story. . .there is none greater. What is so amazing is that this is not my love story alone. I am not the only one that gets to experience this love story. It is your story, too.
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. John 15:10-12
Monday, March 23, 2009
Walking on a Tightrope
I have been thinking a lot about balance the last few days. Trying to figure out how to balance all of the daily tasks on my to-do list is never easy for me. My hubby says I need time management, I am not so sure that would help some days.
And of course, when I opened my Fireproof book this morning what do I read, "Life is a marathon, not a sprint. This means you must balance, prioritize and pace yourself." I have a really hard time with this. It seems in my life that as soon as I start really getting one area figured out, another area suffers. For example, when I was focusing on eating healthy, losing a little weight and exercising, I was able to prepare for my 1/2 marathon. However, I didn't spend nearly enough time in my Bible and in prayer. Over the past couple of months I have been spending a lot of time in my Bible and praying, but I haven't broke a sweat.
I think that it is so important to find balance, I just haven't figured out how to make it happen yet. This morning I woke up and decided that I was going to eat a healthy breakfast of an orange and tea. I dressed in my work-out clothes instead of taking a shower right away so that I wouldn't have an excuse not to work-out this morning. And before I started doing anything else, I sat down with my Bible and tried to focus my day.
Unfortunately, I am already starving from my little breakfast, I haven't worked out yet and Nadia is ready for me to play. Not to mention the dishes in the sink, the laundry to do and the house to clean.
But, I feel great and I am motivated to get things done. I started my day focusing on what is important and I know that if I stay focused, I will have a great day. I found a scripture that helped me to get focused today and I would like to share it with you.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So I haven't found the balance that I am trying to achieve, and I guarantee you I won't get everything done that I would like today. But, I am not going to lose heart. The balance I am looking for will come, but it will be a marathon, not a sprint. As long as I make my relationship with Christ my priority, I will be renewed everyday.
And of course, when I opened my Fireproof book this morning what do I read, "Life is a marathon, not a sprint. This means you must balance, prioritize and pace yourself." I have a really hard time with this. It seems in my life that as soon as I start really getting one area figured out, another area suffers. For example, when I was focusing on eating healthy, losing a little weight and exercising, I was able to prepare for my 1/2 marathon. However, I didn't spend nearly enough time in my Bible and in prayer. Over the past couple of months I have been spending a lot of time in my Bible and praying, but I haven't broke a sweat.
I think that it is so important to find balance, I just haven't figured out how to make it happen yet. This morning I woke up and decided that I was going to eat a healthy breakfast of an orange and tea. I dressed in my work-out clothes instead of taking a shower right away so that I wouldn't have an excuse not to work-out this morning. And before I started doing anything else, I sat down with my Bible and tried to focus my day.
Unfortunately, I am already starving from my little breakfast, I haven't worked out yet and Nadia is ready for me to play. Not to mention the dishes in the sink, the laundry to do and the house to clean.
But, I feel great and I am motivated to get things done. I started my day focusing on what is important and I know that if I stay focused, I will have a great day. I found a scripture that helped me to get focused today and I would like to share it with you.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
So I haven't found the balance that I am trying to achieve, and I guarantee you I won't get everything done that I would like today. But, I am not going to lose heart. The balance I am looking for will come, but it will be a marathon, not a sprint. As long as I make my relationship with Christ my priority, I will be renewed everyday.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Home
Now we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Corinthians 5:1
I am sitting at my mom and dad's house and feeling more relaxed than I have felt in months. There is just something about being here that makes me breathe easier and put all of stresses of life to the back of my mind.
I was born and raised in the same house. I was surrounded by friends of all ages, there was a swimming pool across the street and I could look out the picture window and see the school park, skating rink and softball fields. But things change, people move and people build houses. As I was driving down my old street I was overcome by a little sadness. I think only one family still lives in the same place on this street from my childhood. Every other family has moved to the lake, or built houses on a different street, or moved out of town completely. The swimming pool and skating rink are long gone and houses stand in the way of my old view.
I am extremely thankful that my mom and dad are still here and nothing has changed. It will always be home. When I walk through the door, I can sigh, take a deep breath and know that everything will always be okay. I know that someday I may not have this home to come to and that will be sad. I pray that my children will always consider the home we have for them to be a place of peace and safety like this home is for me.
I know that things will continue to change in my lifetime. People will continue to move, buildings will continue to be built, people get sick, lives get torn apart. I could be right in the middle of some or all of these things.
However, I still have peace. And my peace comes from knowing that there is place far greater for me and for you. A place that will never change and never be destroyed. Some day I will walk through a different door and I will be home. I will sigh and take a deep breath and know that everything will be okay.
The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18
I am sitting at my mom and dad's house and feeling more relaxed than I have felt in months. There is just something about being here that makes me breathe easier and put all of stresses of life to the back of my mind.
I was born and raised in the same house. I was surrounded by friends of all ages, there was a swimming pool across the street and I could look out the picture window and see the school park, skating rink and softball fields. But things change, people move and people build houses. As I was driving down my old street I was overcome by a little sadness. I think only one family still lives in the same place on this street from my childhood. Every other family has moved to the lake, or built houses on a different street, or moved out of town completely. The swimming pool and skating rink are long gone and houses stand in the way of my old view.
I am extremely thankful that my mom and dad are still here and nothing has changed. It will always be home. When I walk through the door, I can sigh, take a deep breath and know that everything will always be okay. I know that someday I may not have this home to come to and that will be sad. I pray that my children will always consider the home we have for them to be a place of peace and safety like this home is for me.
I know that things will continue to change in my lifetime. People will continue to move, buildings will continue to be built, people get sick, lives get torn apart. I could be right in the middle of some or all of these things.
However, I still have peace. And my peace comes from knowing that there is place far greater for me and for you. A place that will never change and never be destroyed. Some day I will walk through a different door and I will be home. I will sigh and take a deep breath and know that everything will be okay.
The Lord will rescue me from every evil attack and will bring me safely to his heavenly kingdom. To him be glory for ever and ever. Amen. 2 Timothy 4:18
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Open Door
Greater love has no one then this, that he lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
I am starting my week feeling extremely blessed. I had a wonderful weekend with my friends. On Friday night I got to see a friend that I have known since I was 8 years old and on Sunday I spent the afternoon with one of my girlfriends here at home.
I have wonderful friends. They lift me up when I am down, they pray for me when I am hurting, they encourage me when I need a little push forward. Everyone needs friends. I came across the above verse this morning in John 15:13. I know that Jesus laid down his life for us (his friends) by dying on the cross. But I also know that I need to lay down my life for my friends.
What does that mean to me? Most importantly I think it means sharing my faith with my friends. There is no greater gift you can give a friend than to share with them the gift they can receive by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal Savior.
I think that another way to lay my life down for my friends is to always be available to them. I will be the first to admit that I am domestically challenged. When you walk through the doors to my home, it is not always put together. In fact sometimes, it is actually a little scary. However, I want my friends to know that my door is always open. I love it when my friends come over and it doesn't happen often enough.
It is sad to say, but a phrase that can sometimes be cliche is "I will pray for you". When I say this to my friends, I want them to know that I will pray for them. I pray for them even when they don't ask. I pray for them when I can tell they need to feel God's arms wrapped around them. There are many times when we don't have the words or the strength to pray for ourselves, but we have friends that will intercede for us and God is listening.
Are you laying your life down for your friends? In this world of technology we have access to our friends like never before. And I know that I am horrible at keeping in touch, but even if I don't call often enough or send a little note on the computer often enough. I am here for you. I love all of you. And I will lay my life down for every one of you.
My door is always open (and if you are a little scared by what you see, we can always have a cup of coffee on the porch). :0)
I am starting my week feeling extremely blessed. I had a wonderful weekend with my friends. On Friday night I got to see a friend that I have known since I was 8 years old and on Sunday I spent the afternoon with one of my girlfriends here at home.
I have wonderful friends. They lift me up when I am down, they pray for me when I am hurting, they encourage me when I need a little push forward. Everyone needs friends. I came across the above verse this morning in John 15:13. I know that Jesus laid down his life for us (his friends) by dying on the cross. But I also know that I need to lay down my life for my friends.
What does that mean to me? Most importantly I think it means sharing my faith with my friends. There is no greater gift you can give a friend than to share with them the gift they can receive by accepting Jesus Christ as their personal Savior.
I think that another way to lay my life down for my friends is to always be available to them. I will be the first to admit that I am domestically challenged. When you walk through the doors to my home, it is not always put together. In fact sometimes, it is actually a little scary. However, I want my friends to know that my door is always open. I love it when my friends come over and it doesn't happen often enough.
It is sad to say, but a phrase that can sometimes be cliche is "I will pray for you". When I say this to my friends, I want them to know that I will pray for them. I pray for them even when they don't ask. I pray for them when I can tell they need to feel God's arms wrapped around them. There are many times when we don't have the words or the strength to pray for ourselves, but we have friends that will intercede for us and God is listening.
Are you laying your life down for your friends? In this world of technology we have access to our friends like never before. And I know that I am horrible at keeping in touch, but even if I don't call often enough or send a little note on the computer often enough. I am here for you. I love all of you. And I will lay my life down for every one of you.
My door is always open (and if you are a little scared by what you see, we can always have a cup of coffee on the porch). :0)
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